WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

 

Men Are Just Happier People --

 

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

 

The garage is all yours.

 

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

 

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

 

You can never be pregnant.

 

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

 

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

 

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

 

The world is your urinal.

 

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

 

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

 

Same work, more pay.

 

Wrinkles add character.

 

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

 

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

 

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

 

One mood all the time.

 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

 

You know stuff about tanks.

 

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

 

You can open all your own jars.

 

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

 

If someone forgets to invite you,

 

He or she can still be your friend.

 

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

 

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

 

You almost never have strap problems in public.

 

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

 

Everything on your face stays its original color.

 

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

 

You only have to shave your face and neck.

 

You can play with toys all your life.

 

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

 

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

 

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

 

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

 

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

No wonder men are happier.

 

Send this to the women who can handle it

 

And to the men who will enjoy reading it.

 

Men Are Just Happier People

 

NICKNAMES

 

· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

 

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

 

EATING OUT

 

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

 

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 

MONEY

 

· A man will pay $20. for a $10. item he needs.

 

· A woman will pay $10. for a $20. item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 

BATHROOMS

 

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

 

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

ARGUMENTS

 

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

 

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

FUTURE

 

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

 

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

MARRIAGE

 

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

 

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

 

DRESSING UP

 

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

 

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

NATURAL

 

· Men wake up looking the same as when they went to bed.

 

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

OFFSPRING

 

· Ah, children A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

 

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

 

TV costs defy inflation

A 1954 advertisement. In today's (2013) dollars this $200 TV would cost $1700. The cost of electronics has been kept low by advances in technology. Today Walmart has a 22" LCD TV with built-in dvd player for $178.

Disease 1900 to 2000

The graph shows the U.S. death rate for infectious diseases between 1900 and 1996. The line starts all the way at the top. In 1900, 800 of every 100,000 Americans died from infectious diseases. The top killers were pneumonia, tuberculosis and diarrhea. But the line quickly begins falling. By 1920, fewer than 400 of every 100,000 Americans died from infectious diseases. By 1940, it was less than 200. By 1960, it’s below 100. When’s the last time you heard of an American dying from diarrhea?  “For all the millennia before this in human history,” Coburn says, “it was all about tuberculosis and diarrheal diseases and all the other infectious disease. The idea that anybody lived long enough to be confronting chronic diseases is a new invention. Average life expectancy was 45 years old at the turn of the century. You didn’t have 85-year-olds with chronic diseases.”

With chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease you don’t get better, or at least not quickly. They don’t require cures so much as management. Their existence is often proof of medicine’s successes. Three decades ago, cancer typically killed you. Today, many cancers can be fought off for years or even indefinitely. The same is true for AIDS, and acute heart failure and so much else. This, to Coburn, is the core truth, and core problem, of today’s medical system: Its successes have changed the problems, but the health-care system hasn’t kept up.

Kenneth Thorpe, chairman of the health policy and management school at Emory University, estimates that 95 percent of spending in Medicare goes to patients with one or more chronic conditions — with enrollees suffering five or more chronic conditions accounting for 78 percent of its spending.

personal observations: When I go to the lab for blood work it is 95% elderly patients in the waiting room. I think I read that 75% of the cost of a person's health care will occur in the last 6 months of life.

A funny story

Why Parents Drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello?'

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, 'No '

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' 'Yes'
'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, 'No'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

'Yes , ' whispered the child, 'a policeman  '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

'No, he's busy' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman' came the whispered answer..

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.Again, whispering, the child answered,

' The search team just landed a helicopter'

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice repliedwith a muffled giggle...

'ME'